Why do we marry?
Under our current Judeo-Christian government in the US, marriage provides certain legal protections and tax benefits. When asked why they married, a usual answer given by any who join in "holy matrimony" is "We were in love". The underlying reason of course is silently given, "we want to bring legitimacy to our sex life". Ask any gay or lesbian couple who have lasted and they will tell you that they stay together in absence of "holy matrimony". Marriage is not necessary for them, nor for many heterosexual couples. One of my uncles lived for many years with a woman he loved but never married. They were closer than couples that had the certificate on file.
Historical Context
Return to the culture at the time of the ancient Israelites. Marriage took place around the age of thirteen, death came around the age of thirty. The marital institution was a method for men to lay claim to women. By marrying a woman, he became her owner; usually paying her father a "bride price" for the transaction. Marriage was a politically correct way of saying "slavery".
Marriage for the Women
Marriage was not all bad, in fact it had its merits. Yes, the women were in effect slaves of their husbands. However, as every slave owner knew, you have to take care of your property for it to be fruitful. Often, these women went from having nearly nothing to rich lives with husbands that looked upon them as more than property. Over time, it became common for the husbands to work hard to provide for their wives. How lucky were any of the seven hundred wives of King Solomon.
Marriage for the Children
The marital bond also provided a stable environment for the children to grow. Infant mortality being so high, it took a great deal of work for a married couple to have even one child. Another legitimate status a woman could hold was that of concubine. The difference between the two was that children of wives had inheritance rights, whereas the children of concubines had no such rights to their father's property.
Trespassing
Taking another man's wife without permission, trespassing or adultery, was a problem when the wife became pregnant by the trespasser. The husband would be obligated to raise a child that was not his own. Not only did this show disrespect, it increased the burden on the unknowing husband and the legitimate heirs. However, there existed no problem with a husband lending his wife to another for the purposes of increasing his own family size or simply for a profit.
How about cleaving to one wife?
Many take Genesis 2:23-24 as the first marriage. From the KJV:
And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:23-24 KJV)
In the verses, Woman and wife come from the same Hebrew word, isshaw, which means woman. Moreover, there is no indication of possession given; so "his wife" is also inaccurate. The phrase could translate as, "cleave on woman." Men and women have a natural tendency to come together because the female came from the male. Genesis 2:23-24 has nothing to do with marriage, that comes later when the first children of Adam and Eve are born.
Who's the Boss?
"Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord, because a husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the assembly, and He is the Savior of the body." (Ephesians 5:22-23 LITV)
Paul's letter to the Ephesians would seem to indicate that he believed wives should still be calling their husbands, master. Indeed, many modern churches cling to this concept. At this point in history, women were still considered property. Thereby they had few if any rights at all. The Apostle did not say that wives were to become doormats by being obedient slaves. Submission is a verb that means to voluntarily obey or have faith in something. Paul meant that these women, coming from lives of slavery, were to have faith in their husbands as they had faith in Jesus.
Conclusion
Marriage is not just between a man and a woman as many would believe. It is a bond between people who love each other. It is a state in which children can be raised in the Love of Jesus. Marriage is not the way to legitimatize sex between consenting adults. Sex between consenting adults is always permitted.
Resources
"Marriage." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 12 Dec 2005, 02:37 UTC. 12 Dec 2005, 13:12